A lot is said and done about women and depression, but what about men? It affects them as much or more than it does women. At least that’s what I see in my practice. Men come in with presenting issues like anxiety, stress, and lack of interest in sex, erectile dysfunction, anger management concerns and a host of other problems. Rarely ever do they state depression as the reason for them coming to consult me.

A session or two, and the client soon discovers that his presenting problem is a symptom of an underlying disorder – mild or moderate depression. Your local physician can prescribe medication for depression, but that’s not a route one wants to take without trying other modes of treatment. Studies show that medication does not guarantee cure from depression. It helps you to cope with the chemical imbalance in your brain, but can also lead to dependence. Which is not something to look forward to because of the side effects that eventually start showing.

Today’s research shows that Cognitive Behavioural Therapy works well with mild depression. This is also true with moderate and severe depression when it is clubbed with medication, but more on this later. First, how is depression in men different from depression in women?

To begin with, depression in men is serious. One, because men are less adept than women in recognizing the signs of depression they are suffering from. Even if they are aware of them, a sense of denial does not permit them to acknowledge the signs. This is  because to them it isn’t a manly disorder to have and shows them as weak and unable to handle the stressors and strains of everyday living. Two, this keeps them from talking about it or seeking help, further compounding the problem. And thirdly, depression in men if left unchecked and allowed to take over their life can eventually lead to suicide. While women mostly attempt suicide, depressed men most often complete the task (men are four times more likely than women to commit suicide).

Remember, there are no feelings of sadness involved in depression. It is all about an overwhelming sense of helplessness, hopelessness and worthlessness that simply doesn’t seem to go away no matter what you do to try and lift your mood. And this spills over into your daily living. No more do you have any interest in daily activities like eating, sleeping, exercising, working, having sex and so on and so forth. So much so, there is a loss of appetite, weight change, increase in reckless behaviour, unexplained aches and pains (usually involving the back), concentration problems, self-loathing, anger and irritability at loved ones and a dip in general energy levels.

Interventions offered:

As a professional counselor I, first and foremost, let my client know that being depressed is not a sign of failing masculinity. In no way does it mean that they are not strong and in control of their emotions.

Next it is my job to challenge them. Challenge their Negative Automatic Thoughts (NATs). NATs can predispose you to faulty behaviour and further compound your low mood. So my role is to allow my client to consciously stop in his tracks when he feels a NAT creep into his head. Then he is encouraged to put it down on paper and ask himself what the NAT does to his behaviour and emotions. Once he becomes conscious how dysfunctional thinking has made him act in an inappropriate way he understands better why he feels the way he does. And begins to challenge his negative thinking habit.

I also strongly urge my male clients to put off making important decisions for a while. I remind them to not expect miracles overnight. There will come a change in mood, I assure them, but surely not instantly. My clients are encouraged to exercise daily. To get enough sleep everyday-neither more nor less and to eat many, regular but small, meals through the day.

We have it in us to adapt, change and self-actualize. So why stay depressed when help is at hand. Get empowered to deal with depression. Allow CBT to help you help yourself.

– Sunitha Menon,

Psychologist & Care Provider at SeekSpark.com

The Author, Sunitha Menon, has specialized in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, from Swinburne University of Technology, Australia. She is currently a Psychologist & Care Provider with seekspark.com