How do you deal with the death or departure of a loved one? That was today’s topic on Slice of Health on Chennai Live. The expert on the show was Dr.Mini Rao – an award winning Psychologist. Dr. Tauseef was also present.

 

Dr.Tauseef started saying that being in Emergency medicine he knows that death is real, and the main problem is that immediate family and friends have to accept it. Their first reaction is usually denial.

 

Mr.Rao said that there are 5 stages to dealing with death:

–          Denial – which is essentially a defence mechanism

–          Anger –  Anger at the person for dying and at the doctor

–          Bargaining –  A feeling that this would not have happened if the person had got better medication or better doctors

–          Depression –  When the realisation begins to sink in

–          Acceptance –  When they can finally accept it and move on

 

Dr.Rao does grief counselling for people who are going through depression; usually mourning for more than 2 months leads to depression and the person will need counselling. In suicide cases, this happens more.  There will be more guilt all round which is hard to get rid of.

 

People deal with death in different ways. Dr. Rao herself tried using an Ouija board to get answers to deal with her mother’s death.

 

A caller, also a doctor, spoke about how difficult it is to treat close friends and family especially when there is a terminal disease in question. Dr. Rao agreed and said that one needs to make sure that they don’t let their emotions get in the way of the treatment and decisions.

 

Things to do to make it easier:

–          Be aware that the above 5 stages will happen.

–          Think of all the positive and good times together.

–          Accept that time will be a healer.

–          Listen to music. Do what makes you happy.

–          Have to seek professional help if you feel you are not able to snap out of it

 

A caller said a middle aged relative died after coming to know about the death of another relative. Which stage of the 5 was she in? Dr.Tauseef said she was probably in shock.   Emotional shock can lead to physical shock which can be heart attack or stroke and in some cases coma and death.  If a person is known to be sensitive, keep their contact with the situation minimal and prepare them in advance.

 

Change is constant in life, life goes on. Keep walking.